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Why Does Sex Hurt?

There is no greater mood killer than pain during sex! Believe it or not ladies, pain during sex is actually very common, and often times not caused by any serious conditions. You can usually pinpoint why sex hurts for you once you’re aware of the different causes. So why does this happen exactly?


Pain during sex is often referred to as dyspareunia and it can be caused by different things. We’re going to take a look at the most common causes.

The most common causes for pain DURING sex are:

  • Not enough vaginal lubrication
  • Psychological Problems
  • Physical problems (Size)
  • Infection
  • Penetration for the first time

Insufficient Lubrication

Usually, when a woman is aroused the walls of the vagina produce a liquid that makes penetration easier. However, there are times when there isn’t enough lubrication for comfortable sex.

This usually happens because you may need more time to become fully aroused, or you may be nervous or tense. The thing about most women (that kind of sucks) is that sex is SERIOUSLY MENTAL. If you are stressed, overworked, sad, or just thinking too much in general, you might find it hard to stay in the moment and become aroused.

Try to relax and communicate with you partner. Don’t feel like you can’t speak or experiment with different things you might like. Never feel rushed either! That will kill your arousal and not to mention any chances of having your O. If he’s any guy worth having, he’ll be patient and more than happen to try anything that will put your mind at ease.

Insufficient lubrication is also caused by lowered estrogen levels. Lower estrogen thins the vaginal walls and affects its liquid production. This is common after childbirth and post menopause, so give yourself some time to bounce back.

You can also focus on eating things to boost your estrogen levels. Seeds (flax seed, sesame seeds), fruits(strawberries, oranges, peaches), Veggies (kale, carrots, yams), Dark rye bread, chickpeas, olives and olive oil are all great choices for boosting estrogen naturally.

You can also use lubricants. Even if you’re not experiencing pain, using lubricants can dramatically increase sexually pleasure and stamina.



Psychological Problems


Sex can also be painful because of psychological issues. This could be previous sexual abuse, even consistent pain during sex can cause Vaginusmus (involuntary vaginal muscle contractions) or just an anticipation for pain.

Psychological pain should be treated by couples therapy or just communicating with your partner letting them know you need time or help with overcoming your mental barriers.

Physical Problems (Size)

Size definitely does matter in some women’s cases. If your partners penis is larger than your vagina that could make things…really uncomfortable.

Contrary to what most people believe, a woman’s body size does not have any direct correlation with the size of her vagina.


Some vaginal infections like yeast infections or trichomoniasis don’t show signs right away. The friction of sex or any type of vaginal penetration could irritate or cause pain during intercourse.

Visit your local Hospital or Gynecologist if you suspect you may have any type of STI.

Penetration For the First Time

The first few times you have sex you may experience discomfort. There might be bleeding the first time or none at all. Both are perfectly normal so don’t panic!

The pain and bleeding was originally attributed to the Hymen breaking, however that theory was smashed a few years ago.

Author of “Virgin: The Untouched History,” Hanne Blank stated: “If the hymen is substantial, relatively inflexible, and attached around much of the circumference of the vaginal opening, then yes, it’s fair to say that the hymen is at issue. But not all hymens meet these criteria, and women without substantial hymens can also experience painful penetration. The truth is that research has not told us with any particular specificity why it is that this discomfort happens, or why it happens for some women (regardless of hymen type) and not others.”

Regardless of your research if you are experiencing any pelvic pain or discomfort seek medical attention!!

Hope this was helpful ladies, comment below if it helped you 🙂


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